Boring as bat shit and other cliches

Every time I venture on a holiday on my own I make sure to get some friends at my accomodation, and at some bars. They are incredibly useful.

Just a quick preface to my tale. Last night it was quite wet. I also found out that my shoes now have leaky soles. Fun times.

The first day in Queenstown I had one drink at 4 different bars on my own. I chatted to the bouncers and the bar staff at each (mostly about gin and skiing). The first night in Queenstown I joined in drinking games at the hostel then went out with a bunch of people. One of those bunch of people happens to be on the organising committee or something of another conference currently going on in Queenstown.

So last night as me and a couple of fellows from the hostel ventured out into the wet we happened across two lovely ladies that asked for directions to a bar. Of course we followed them to the bar. However, once inside I figured out it was a joint drinking session thing for the main QMB conference and the other brain conference. My friend from the first night was there. He had access to a large bar tab. Things were looking up.

I danced my arse off. I was also recognised by a previous student. I'm going to have to get the hell out of this hemisphere to stop this happening. I had many a drunken talk with drunken academics and PhD students. We then went to World Bar.

I left World Bar to buy some cigarettes. I got drenched. Then I remembered one of the bars from the first night had a roaring fire. I stumbled there and was recognised by the bar tender. He got me a martini and instructed me to dry up on the couch in front of the fire. Excellent.

We eventually ended back at the hostel at about 5.30 am.

My second day in Queenstown started off quite terribly. I'd had about 10 hours sleep, got up at 7 am, had a hearty breakfast (fried eggs and toasted english muffins) and caught the skilink bus. Once I boarded the bus, the driver informed us that the mountain status was 'on hold' and even if it did open then it would be a terrible day anyway. Luckily I could transfer my instructions, transport and lift pass voucher for the next day.

I walked into town and exhanged my ticket. I had hoped to go for a tour of the glacier, but apparently that's like 3-4 hours away. I then asked about other activities (keeping in mind it was cold, windy and quite wet).

jetboat - no; quad biking - no; bungee jump - hell no; wine tour - BINGO

So from 12.30pm onwards I visited 4 wineries with some lovely people (out of 21 people, all but four were from Australia or lived in Australia). Got a bit tipsy, went to a pub with them, then the South African couple suggested harder drinks to get things moving. First up, Jaeger bomb, no worries. Next was a hand grenade. Basically a Jaeger bomb, but with a shot of tequila first. Hmmm, OK. Unfortunately some members of our group were not used to injesting large amounts of alcohol, but that's a story for another time.

Got back to the hostel, cleaned up, played Jenga (I suck at Jenga), then headed off into the town with a couple of the other hostelees. Much drunkedness ensued.

To be continued.

David graciously gave me a lift to the airport last night and I caught the 00.30 flight to Melbourne. I had a whole row to myself but couldn't get much sleep. Zombified in Melbourne I cleared customs and had a look for duty free alcohol. Funnily enough I wasn't in the mood at 6am local time so just bought a 200 mL bottle of Jamesons.

Flight to Queenstown was pretty uneventful until we got near Queenstown. A fair bit of turbulence as we circled the airport before we were diverted to Christchurch due to 'extreme weather' conditions on the ground. Got let into the country and had to sit around for about an hour whilst Air New Zealand helped out Qantas with three turboprops to get us down to Queenstown.

Great I thought. A fucking turboprop going into some risky weather conditions. Well at least it'll be a fun ride! In the end the turbulence around Christchurch was more troublesome (and fun, I love turbulence) than landing in Queenstown. Flew over what I think were the Misty Mountains in Lord of the Rings. Awesome.

Touched down in Queenstown, dazed and confused, and got ripped off by a 'taxi'. NZ$40 to get to the hostel, but at that point in time I really didn't give a shit, I just needed to get in.

I've booked my first day of skiing for tomorrow, hired out ski pants, bought some gloves, a beanie and a pair of sun glasses. Registered for the conference and had a bit of a walk around. This place is spectacular. Awesome lake surrounded by snow topped mountains and just brimming with life. Beautiful.

It's 6.30 local time and I'm fucking knackered. I need to get up at 7 am (3 am Perth time!) to get the bus up to the slopes.

I'll try and post something tomorrow. Hopefully a bit more coherently too.

I've seriously curtailed my live music fetish in the last few months, in an attempt to get more PhD work done. It's kinda worked, but not as much as I would have liked. The large number of parties of late certainly hasn't helped.

Looking at the upcoming music festivals makes me feel guilty over both money and lack of progress on my dissertation. Parklife is well stocked with Metric, Junior Boys, Art vs Science, Empire of the Sun, and Lady Sovereign. Soundwave has a Faith No More (awesome live) and Jane's Addiction, but I can take or leave the rest of the lineup. Then there is Low:Fi with a bunch of great DJs (including Qbert!). I'd REALLY like to go to Low:Fi at least, but ultimately I think I'm going to give them all a miss. Maybe I'll go to the RTRFM Radiothon Closing Party, I hope my gold subscriber card is still good, and catch my taxi to the airport from there.

I will however try and get to some sideshows, although even these are hit and miss. I missed out on tickets to Art vs Science, I'll be in the air when Does it offend you, yeah? are playing. I'm definitely going to go and see Metric though.

Don't fuck it up. Again.

grahame informed me that the bus route 24 will no longer be servicing my street, thanks to the cities of Nedlands and Subiaco installing oversized roundabouts. Below is my letter:

To: mailbox@postnewspapers.com.au, city@subiaco.wa.gov.au, council@nedlands.wa.gov.au

Hello

I would like to join this condemnation of the City of Subiaco and the City of Nedlands.

I am a resident of redacted Broadway, Crawley and am a patron of the bus route 24. Indeed one of the affected bus stops is directly outside my unit.

The cause of the bus route change is unacceptable.

How incompetant are the planners of both the City of Subiaco and the City of Nedlands? How is it possible that they have colluded to turn a road that used to have a tram running down it into one that is unsuitable for busses? By installing roundabouts no less!

Did they even consider/consult with Transperth? This bus route affected has a large utilisation and runs (for a few more days) past many medium density student residences. Are the cities of Subiaco and Nedlands going to compensate property owners for lowered property values due to a reduction in services. An unecessary reduction in services. A reduction in services caused purely by the inept handling of local roads by the City of Subiaco and the City of Nedlands.

It's also interesting to reflect on what effect the changes to Broadway will have on access by fire trucks. Are our residences and lives now in more danger due to an exuberance for novelty sized roundabouts?

Not impressed,
Anil Sharma

30 years old, whodathunk it?

I’ve just spoken to Gary, and booked the UWA Tavern from 19.30 on Saturday 25 July, up until midnight.

Put it in your diaries now, and make sure that you come down and join in the guaranteed debauchery. You’re welcome to bring friends do join in this modern day, unisex bacchanalia.

Likelihood of kicking on somewhere else after 12pm: extreme!

I need to remember that fun nights out don't actually solve any problems.

missed the deadline to apply for a travel grant to the Society for Neuroscience meeting in Chicago in November(why did I think it was in San Francisco, and that the deadling was end of May?).

I am thoroughly sick of still being at uni. However, there are still some highlights.

Tonight I crashed two teaching (and learning) award ceremonies (technically I RSVPd for one but wasn't invited. I had to arrive 1 hour late due to teaching. Ironic?).

Some people I knew won awards at each which was great. Got some fabulous food, and some good wine.

I'm also applying for a complete rort for a free trip to a Chinese university in July. Also a couple of travel awards to San Fransisco in November (I'll probably still be here working, getting papers submitted and waiting for my markers to get back to me) for a conference.

It's not all shit, but I do miss engaging with the real world.

Eleanor and I got 'special mention' and praise at the Anatomy and Human Biology staff/student meeting for our mad neuroanatomy demonstrating skills. That was quite surprising as I didn't think I'd been doing an noteworthy job. Decent yes, but not fantastic.

Won a drinking competition.

Finally finished trawling through all the literature in my field and made a table of relevant references for ONE PAGE of a chapter. It took me TWO WEEKS.

Not going to the Ruby Room tonight.

Last night was the WAMi Spectacular, held at Metro City.

Boys were on first in front of a small crowd, but that wasn't too bad because they could party on with us for the rest of the night. Schvendes were a lot more tight than I remember. The Transients are pretty good (and now have the lead singer from Halogen). Panda Band have much bass, but a meh live show. Sugar Army rocked the house (again). Tomas Ford managed to crowdsurf. End of Fashion were whiny. Holy Sea are worth seeing if you notice them playing at your local. Downsyde were hilariously crap. Project Mayhem were wonderful.

After party was OK, but had some crappy music and had to leave earlyish due to Mother's Day commitments.

despite never having done a funnel before tonight, I'm quite adept.

The Post has sunk to a new low on their front cover.

First of all, I'm pretty sure railing against Gypsies as dirty thieves is racial vilification. Gypsies are not even mentioned in the body of the article, leading one to speculate that the term Gypsy was used as a descriptor of all petty thieves.

I'm not sure how doctored the reporting of the Sargeant's statements are, but sentences such as 'We need to be mindful that we live in a nice area and normally don't have these types of people living around us' and 'If someone looks out of place, like he or she doesn't belong here, has no purpose or is acting suspiciously, call police immediately' (emphasis mine) are vile.

A letter to the editor and media watch will be forthcoming, when I get time to sit down and write it properly.

Friday night I was very tired so skipped out on gonig to Amps to see Luna Parade and deliver a tin whistle, instead heading to Michal's to play poker.

Saturday night I was still feeling tired but pushed through and went to Deville's for Craig Harris's birthday party. Everyone started to leave, and I bumped into Jane. Jane and her friends went off to Ambar, so I joined up with them there. Boogied on down for a while before they decamped off to Connections. I decided to part company there and started walking into the city. On the way there I bumped into Jess and her friend whose name I can't remember. They both convinced me to go to The Court, but that was closed. Then I followed them to Geisha, but someone they were looking for wasn't on the door. Convinced them to go to Sexy, which was pretty dead (again!). Shared a taxi home, chatted for a bit then went to bed at like 4am.

Sunday I woke up still tipsy, had a shower and wandered down to In The Pines. A beer and a bottle of wine later and I was getting pretty smashed (hadn't eaten anything except for a bucket of chips). Went to the pub after Project Mayhem, getting a lift on the back of Adam's bike. Thinking it would be fun, I jumped off the back before Adam stopped, skinning my knee and grazing my hands. There was an unimpressive amount of blood. Had a G&T, went to Adam's then back to In The Pines in time for Fall Electric. Got a lift from Alwyn after the event to Bulwer Street to catch up with Ben (who I haven't seen in months) only to find him in an even more liquid state than me. Stayed for about 40 minutes then caught a taxi back home. Found that the Caltex was completely out of pies, rode down the BP for one, forgot to drink a glass of milk, went to sleep.

Today - sore and fragile.

What the fuck am I still doing at uni? Sometimes I feel that I've wasted the last 3-4 years of my life.

However, the last three years have had some mighty fine highlights. I've just completed a list of live acts that I've seen in the last three years (that I can remember). Bands had to be at least national to make the list.

( it's long )

I am possibly the laziest person on Earth. If it wasn't for guilt, pride, and stress I'd never get anything done. Stress drives up my adrenalin, putting me in the zone; guilt pulls me back from the abyss when I let loose because of the amount of stress I am in; pride stops me from chucking it all in and choosing an easier existence. This means that I am generally treading a fairly narrow range of stress towards the neurotic end of the spectrum.

Dreams/nightmares about work are in the healthy range for me, that's about the right level of stress I need to be the most productive. Incoherent internal monologue signals that I'm reaching the limit of my stress resiliance. I know I've stepped over the boundary when I start getting vertigo on staircases.

Last night I had a nightmare involving having to crawl across a bridge (which normal people were quite happily walking along) because I was too scared to stand. So yeah, perhaps I've been a little stressed lately :).

An afternoon's daydream listening to Metric's new album has quietened my nerves quite considerably, as has getting the flat clean.

----

I'm only slightly crazy, honest.

I don't read the Left Weekly (or whatever those dreadlocked smells call their rag) for many years, but there doesn't seem amongst the mainstream to be any calling for a rememberance of the 20th anniversary of the Tienanmen Square Massacre.

Probably the bravest person I have ever witnessed in my life, Tank Man, stood against the aggression, along with thousands of his compatriots. We should not let this stain on humanity lie dormant, nor should our outrage be so small that the PRC censors can shield their public from our collective outrage.

I know this post is hypocritical, because I have done nothing. But I am incredulous that noone else has done anything either (I mean, we've got 'Save Leighton' bumper stickers FFS!).

Friday: a GRADS production of The Merchant of Venice. OK, but I found the play itself wanting. Far too linear and not that thought provoking. There may have been something spectacular in the first five minutes, but it took me that long to begin to understand the Victorian iambic pentameter.

Sat: Buddha Collapsed Out of Shame, Sommerville. Rubbish. Don't use kids as actors, and don't confuse documentary with narrative. I did go to The Ellington afterwards, which after almost giving up in the line did turn out to be very jovial. I wouldn't call the music jazz, more funk and soul, but pretty damned good. Pay extra for a table, it is well worth it.

Sun: I went to the Lawrence Wilson Art Gallery for the first time.I haven't been there before, which combined with its proximity was making me feel awfully guilty (guilt being one of the three primary emotions that make me do anything; the other two are pride and joy). It was pretty average, I blame PIAF. Then MOGWAI!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh the joy, oh the rapture. Standing in front of the stage, nestled against a woofer, post-rock (although apparently they don't like that label) resonating through my soul. Then Dan Deacon with his crazy crowd theatre, then dancing around to some old time tunes (I got some older ladies to join our dancing circle; it makes me happy to see older people having fun at shows, it gives me hope for my desolate later years).

Oh and I also had to do some cell culture in the lab over the weekend (along with starting another chapter in my dissertation).

I think I have committed various forms of semicolon crime in this post, but it makes sense to me.

I think my biggest disappointment with Malcolm Turnbull is that I think he could have been a great Labor Prime Minister.